It’s Valentine’s Day, the most observed unofficial holiday of our country.  It has an interesting history. According to a Roman legend, during the third century a man named Valentinus was imprisoned for his Christian beliefs and sentenced to death. While jailed, according to legend, Valentinus restored the sight of his jailer’s blind daughter. The night before he died, Valentinus wrote a farewell note to the girl, which he signed, “From Your Valentine.” His sentence was carried out the next day, February 14, 269 A.D. 

A couple of hundred of years later during the fifth century, on February 14, Romans were still honoring Juno, the pagan goddess of love and marriage. During the celebration, men would draw women’s names and court them for marriage. In order to get people to stop celebrating a pagan festival, in 498 A.D., Pope Gelasius declared February 14 as St. Valentine’s Day to honor Valentinus.  The rest is history.

For many, Valentine’s Day is a mad rush to book the perfect restaurant, order the perfect arrangement of flowers, find the perfect gift and give the perfect card. Hallmark makes over 2,000 different cards. Does anyone else find looking through those cards intimidating? They are either too sappy or too silly and Saturday’s Star indicated that only 54% of Americans will buy cards this year. Nevertheless, 152 million cards will be exchanged, not counting the valentines exchanged in school, making it the second most important day for card makers, eclipsed only by Christmas.[1]

When it comes to Valentine’s Day cards, 85% are bought by women; but, 73% of flowers are bought by men. Cards and flowers aside, when it comes to valentines, candy reigns supreme. Over 1 billion dollars of chocolate and candy will be bought.  There is a good reason for the chocolate. Chocolate contains phenylethylamine, or PEA.  This is the exact chemical that the body produces on its own when you fall in love. Chocolate also contains serotonin, the chemical the brain produces when we’re feeling good.  Eating chocolate causes our brains to release endorphins and encephalin.[2]

During the 17th century the Church tried to ban chocolate because it was thought to inflame lustful passions. In fact, Casanova remarked on its qualities as an aphrodisiac and drank chocolate at bedtime to sustain his libido.[3] The Church didn’t want people falling in love all over the place, being aroused in the pew by the sensuality of chocolate. It was a time when theologians saw the body as the source of sin and corruption, getting us in trouble. And yet, with apologies to Hershey, there are a lot of kisses in the Bible and they aren’t chocolate.

There are romantic kisses and the place that comes most quickly to mind is the love letter titled “The Song of Solomon”.  It starts out: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine” (Song of Solomon 1:2).  As the letter continues, the author describes his relationship with his lover, clearly indicating that it is steamy and private. He wishes it was more public so he says, “O that you were like a brother to me, who nursed at my mother's breast! If I met you outside, I would kiss you, and no one would despise me.” (Song of Solomon 8:1).

That’s the second type of kissing you find in the Bible—kissing of a family member or familial kissing. This is the most common type of kiss found in the Bible.  Just before Isaac steals the birth rite from his brother Esau, he greets his father with a kiss. When Joseph is united with his father in Egypt, he falls on him and gives him a kiss. Moses kisses his father-in-law, Jethro. David kisses Absalom. Naomi kisses Ruth.[4] If the Bible offers a model of the way we should love, family members should be kissing one another. 

There is a third kind of kissing. Besides romantic and familial kissing, there is ceremonial kissing. When Israel wants a king like all of the other nations, “Samuel took a vial of oil and poured it on his head, and kissed him; he said, ‘The Lord has anointed you ruler over his people Israel… Now this shall be the sign to you that the Lord has anointed you ruler over his heritage.’” (1 Samuel 10: 1a, c.)  The oil and the kiss sealed the deal.  Throughout the Old Testament when people are greeted or about to leave, there is a ceremony of kissing.

In the New Testament, there are two famous ceremonial kisses. In Luke, a woman, anoints and kisses the feet of Jesus, preparing him for his burial. When Jesus is betrayed Judas creates an elaborate ceremony of kissing Jesus to betray him to the Jewish authorities. This leads us to our text. The apostle Paul writes to the church in Corinth. He closes his letter saying “All the brothers and sisters send greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss.” (1 Corinthians 16:20)

It is a far more significant verse than you think. To understand exactly what Paul is saying to this church, let me remind you that Paul is close to this congregation. He was the founding pastor and knows the members by name. Early churches were more like small or medium sized groups 30 or 40 people perhaps, what we’d call house churches. Letters were read in their entirety during a worship service. Imagine the context.

The worship leader stands before the community and says, “Paul, called to be an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God… To the church of God that is in Corinth….Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Corinthians 1: 1a, 2a, 3). It is a standard Pauline introduction. He goes on to make nice, nice for nine verses. Then the letter changes dramatically. He says this. “Now I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you be in agreement and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same purpose. For it has been reported to me by Chloe's people that there are quarrels among you…” (1 Corinthians 1: 10-11) Oops. There is a fight going on and a tattletale, someone in Chloe’s family, has told Paul, and he is hot about it.

A few weeks ago, we talked about one of the controversies in Corinth. It had to do with spiritual gifts and the assumption that some gifts were better than others.  Paul tries to see them straight about being this divisive “one-ups manship” and then, offers that “Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.” (1 Corinthians 13: 4-5b). Ryan preached on this passage a couple of weeks ago, a passage that is used at weddings and probably some of your Valentine’s Day cards but that is speaking about how we are to relate to one another as the body of Christ.

Paul comes back to this issue of love as he ends his letter, saying, “Keep alert, stand firm in your faith, be courageous, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.” (1 Corinthians 16: 13-14). Then, the very last thing before he signs his name, he says, “Greet one another with a holy kiss.” (1 Corinthians 16: 20). Today we might say, “Come on now, kiss and make up.” It is a kiss of reconciliation of unity of affection and love as members of the body of Christ. “Greet one another with a holy kiss.”   

The early church quickly adopted the practice of holy kissing. According to the ancient custom, adults were baptized and then confirmed by the bishop who immediately welcomed the new Christian with a kiss. By the mid-second century, Justin, in the oldest known description of a worship service, reports that “Having ended the prayer, we salute one another with a kiss.” Then the gifts are brought forward. There was a holy kiss right before the offering. A few years later,

Tertullian wrote: “What prayer is complete without a holy kiss?” Holy kissing had clearly caught on.

In the 5th century, St. Augustine explained the kiss as being an enactment of the petition, “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” The holy kiss was about reconciliation. A century later Pope Innocent I moved the Lord’s Prayer immediately after the prayer for communion. This is the way it worked. The priest symbolically received the kiss of peace from Christ which he then passed to the congregation. From person to person, they would pass on the kiss, like we pass the light of Christ through the congregation on Christmas Eve or greet one another as we begin worship.

Holy kissing continued until the 13th century when they invented something called a “pax board” for people to kiss instead of kissing each other. Congregations were getting too big and I guess there was some concern about germs that we might have too. Finally, in the 15th century, a holy kiss was replaced altogether with the passing of the peace. But, our early brothers and sisters in Christ were into hugging and kissing one another.

The movie Casablanca told us that a kiss is just a kiss. But is it? Not according to research on neurotransmitters. For many years, it was thought that the pleasure of a kiss was simply the head coming up with an explanation about the pleasure of physical touch. Not anymore. Research has discovered that something chemical happens when you kiss. When you kiss, hormones and neurotransmitters rush through your body, creating a surge in nor epinephrine, dopamine and phenylethylamine (or just PEA to some), releasing natural endorphins.  Does this sound familiar? It is the same neurological release you get from eating chocolate. So Hershey kisses and real kisses go hand and hand. 

Here is the wild thing. You don’t have to kiss to actually experience this change of body chemistry. Research shows that just thinking about a kiss can change your emotional state. Every change in our emotional state, whether conscious or unconscious, changes our physiological state, changes our bodies.  You know this: you feel sad and your body doesn’t feel right. You feel joyful and feel better. Our body chemistry changes when our mood changes. You don’t have to kiss to experience a kiss.[5]

Before I lose you, let me go back to the apostle Paul and the fuss in Corinth. They are mad, sitting in worship, staring at each other, arms crossed, blood pressure up. The worship leader gets up and says, “We’ve a letter from Paul.” Body chemistry changes because this is good news, it’s joyful.  A whole new set of peptides takes over.  Paul starts in on them. Oops, new peptide receptors engage. They are embarrassed. The letter continues. Love is patient, love is kind….the love chapter. Their body chemistry changes again. Do you understand what is going on?

Think about love. Right now. It’s Valentine’s Day. Who do you love? Who loves you? Do you see his face? Can you hold her hand? Is it a daughter, a son, a lover, a friend, a mother, a father? Remember that person’s love. Feel the warmth. Your body chemistry just changed, if but just a little bit.

“Greet one another with a holy kiss”, Paul says.  I think this is one of the most amazing things about scripture, the apostle Paul and science. Paul knew from the Holy Spirit what we now know from science. A kiss is not a kiss. You don’t even have to kiss to experience the positive benefits of the emotions of kissing. All you have to do is anticipate a kiss and your body chemistry starts changing.

Call it the power of positive thinking. Call it the molecules of emotion. Call it the mystery of the Holy Spirit. Name it all three but the truth of this passage of scripture is our minds can create reality. Paul says, “Stop quarreling. Let all that you do be done in love. Greet one another with a holy kiss.”

You might think this is all very interesting but just what does it mean to me?  Here are some things to think about.

Besides the fact that kissing is good for you mental health, Paul is giving testimony to the importance of being in community, of being in this place and knowing people well enough to embrace them, even give someone a “holy kiss.” Just as the 15th century church finally found it impractical to have everybody kissing everybody, you don’t need to worry. We aren’t going to add to our worship a moment for kissing.

But your sense of well-being, your spiritual connectedness and the cause of Christ is greatly enhanced when there are those in this community who you embrace and even maybe greet with a holy kiss. It requires you going deeper than just dropping by worship every now and then. It challenges you to find a small group, a place to serve, a place to get connected so that you have relationships that can deepen over time.         

In a world that grows more private and impersonal every day, we need community. Every human being needs intimacy, touch, warmth. We don’t just crave chocolate; we crave for loving acceptance, gentle embraces, the touch from another child of God because in a strange and mystical way, a holy embrace can somehow be the touch of God.             

A kiss is not a kiss. It is gift from God that changes the reality of not just your minds, but your entire body as well.  Like chocolate, it changes your body chemistry, unleashing God’s gift of serotonin, endorphins and phenylethylamine. 

A holy kiss is like that. It is joining together to share joys and burdens. It’s helping someone laugh, or cry, or search for God. So, let me give you a “holy kiss” in hopes that “all we do might be done in love.”    

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