My paternal grandmother was a short, rotund woman who enjoyed family gatherings immensely.  It was a rare day to walk into my grandmother’s house and find her anyplace else beyond the kitchen.  While raising a family of eight children, she also ran Mabel’s Café in the small town of Ottawa, Kansas.  Most of my memory however, centers around her caring for nursing patients in her large home – sometimes as many as 10-15 patients who became a part of the family, eating at the family dining table.  It was not uncommon to have 25-30 people around her dining room table at any given meal.  Legally blind herself, she was a great cook and worked from before dawn until late at night caring for the needs of others – family, friends and those entrusted to her care.  Whether it was an everyday meal or a Thanksgiving feast, my grandmother Mabel rarely sat to join the others at the table – she would sit briefly until she would spy something that was needed or someone who needed another helping of food and she would be up to care for it.  When the time came to clear the table, she was first up – a dirty dish was not safe in her sight – sometimes even before I would be completely finished, in that time of pause before seconds, the plate would disappear because she wanted to make sure everyone got an adequate share of dessert.  Her life was a kitchen life.  Rarely would she have or take an opportunity to sit in the living room and just be. 

I’m sure you have family members or people in your circle of friends who have the same personality – the need to care for others so much that you rarely see them sit down for very long at a meal until they are up refilling the iced tea or making sure everyone has coffee. You may be one of these people.  We call these people “Marthas” because of a little short story in the Gospel of Luke when Jesus and his disciples visit Martha’s home and she jumps into action.  This story follows immediately last week’s Good Samaritan story as Jesus has set his face toward Jerusalem and literally, the sacrifice of his life. See if Martha reminds you of anyone that you know.

Luke 10:38-42  ³⁸Now as they went on their way, he entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. ³⁹She had a sister named Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he was saying. ⁴⁰But Martha was distracted by her many tasks; so she came to him and asked, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.” ⁴¹But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; ⁴²there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”

It’s actually the story of two sisters with different personalities – Martha – the Martha Stewart of the Gospels, and Mary, Jesus and the other people – mostly disciples – who swell the guest list in this home to well over a dozen.  Martha goes into hospitality mode but that time was different than this.  Hospitality mode then meant grinding grain, baking, slaughtering, preparing, cooking, serving and cleaning.  It is likely that she was not only opening her home for a meal but also for an overnight stay as the entourage moved toward Jerusalem.  Becoming a bed and breakfast that day was even more work than being a restaurant for just one meal. 

In the midst of Martha’s preparation, Jesus is in the living area teaching and having conversation with those who surrounded him – INCLUDING MARY!  This is a time when only men were allowed on the ruling councils and only men were allowed in the synagogues but Mary finds herself drawn to the message of Jesus and sits at his feet and listens.  In the space of two verses of scripture, we feel Martha’s blood pressure rising and the tension is palpable.  It was uncommon enough for a woman to be listening to the teaching but for Martha’s own sister not to be pulling her own weight in the kitchen is about to throw Martha over the edge.  She wanted things to be perfect for this multi-course meal that she was preparing but “a little help here” would be nice.  She’s taken all she can take and goes to Jesus with her complaint.  “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her then to help me.”

And then comes the surprise.  Just as there was a surprise in the Good Samaritan story last week with who it was that came to the aid of the traveler, so is there a surprise here as well.  Jesus could have said – in keeping with the customs of the time – “Martha, you’re right – Mary you really shouldn’t be here in the living room anyway – could you please help your sister with the preparations?”  But the reply is unexpected - “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.”  Addressing her by name twice for emphasis, Jesus does not tell her not to prepare something for the meal but instead tells her that her worry and the distraction over the details are causing her to miss what’s really important – the expression of God’s word and an explanation of God’s teaching that is taking place in her very house.  Giuseppe Belli’s 19th-century sonnet "Martha and Magdalene" ends with Martha snapping back at Jesus when he tells her that Mary’s right to listen to the teaching.  The sonnet ends: "So says you, but I know better. Listen, if I sat around on my salvation the way she does, who’d keep this house together?"[1]

Jesus is teaching but Martha is worried about place settings and dinner rolls and drink refills, and, and…  Jesus tells her that there is need of only one thing.  We don’t know exactly what this “one thing” is but because we know Jesus used simple things to point to another larger point, we can only assume he is doing the same here.  “Only one thing” may refer simply to just a simple meal that would be more appropriate in this case, just a sandwich – something for sustenance rather than for show but Jesus’ words also certainly point to something larger – the hearing of God’s word trumps all other needs in our life.  One’s life should have some balance in this regard. 

Most people I know that are frustrated with their life are frustrated because it seems to be out of balance.  We understand Martha’s predicament well. It isn’t only matters of hospitality that distract us and pull us in many directions; it’s the unrelenting nature of our schedules. Oddly enough, it seems less complicated to plow ahead and attempt to keep up with the calendar than to make a change. Indeed, we are so distracted that even our sense of finding time for Sabbath – time for recharge of the spiritual batteries - takes on an ironic twist. When life gets so out of balance, worship becomes another "scheduling problem," one that interferes with "the one day when we can sleep in and spend time with family or get some work done around the house."

I know many of you are getting in your summer outings before school starts – for our family that’s in 24 short days – we wonder where the summer has gone because our summer schedule has been crazier than the school year.  Our family returned on Monday from a 10 day vacation.  A quick stop at the family farm in West Virginia, three days in Washington, DC, and some family time on the North Carolina Outer Banks made our time complete.  It was at least day five when I was able to stop worrying about whether the hotel would have our reservation, whether the train would be on time, trying to make sure we had the proper paperwork to take pre-scheduled tours and on and on and on.  Even on vacation, I found myself being a Martha and not a Mary.

Joanna Weaver in her book, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, a book that many have studied and some of our small groups have used, suggests that we use the language of the “kitchen” as a place of service and “living room” as a place of hearing the word of God and renewal.  Weaver says it this way, “the truth is, we can’t get our spiritual act together unless we go into the living room first.”  She goes on, “it’s not always easy to get there.  Intimacy with God may require leaving our comfort zones. Some people feel uneasy in the presence of God.  They dismiss the act of worship as too emotional…or they simply have trouble being still, because that’s their personality.  But regardless of our temperament, regardless of our emotional preference, we are all called to intimacy with God.  The one thing Martha needed is the one thing we need as well.”[2] 

However, before you give up on serving to work on your prayer life, remember that the point of this story is NOT that Mary is right and Martha is wrong.  We would be wrong to paint the picture that way.  Fred Craddock says that if we censure Martha too harshly, she may abandon serving altogether, and if we commend Mary too profusely, she may sit there forever. There is a time to go and do; there is a time to listen and reflect. Knowing which and when is a matter of spiritual discernment.[3]

OK – it’s time for your mid-sermon quiz – stay calm, I know what you are thinking - not a quiz, I should have been listening – we want Randy back – he never gives us a quiz.  Here it is…think about if you can best be described as a Mary or a Martha.

A Mary would be those who feel like their spiritual life has good balance and that you know when and how to listen for God and be still and when to move and serve God with hands and feet. 

A Martha would be those that are worried and anxious, life is out of balance – feeling like there are never enough hours in the day and that I’d really like to take some time for spiritual renewal but I’ll get a round to it as soon as I get everything caught up.

I’m not going to ask for a show of hands but I would guess that you Marthas would have plenty of company and that you Marys wouldn’t need a very big room to hold your group meetings.  You Marthas are busy but your to do list is long. There are lots of things that you’ll do when you get a round to it.  In his retirement, my father made wooden toys in his shop in the basement.  Out of some of the scrap wood, he would cut these thin round circles about the size of a quarter or a half-dollar.  On the wood, he would burn in the letters – T-U-I-T.   Whenever he heard someone say, “I hope to get around to it someday,” he would give them one of his wooden circles – he would hold it before them and explain that they now had “a round tuit” and there was nothing else holding them back from doing what they wanted to do.

I’ve been hearing the term “bucket list” more and more recently to describe someone’s “to do” or “to see” list.  As I’ve confessed before, I try to see movies within a decade of their release so I had to have some staff members tell me about the 2007 film, “ The Bucket List.” Two cancer patients, played by Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson end up in the same hospital room and together create a “bucket list” – things they decide they need to do before they die – or kick the bucket.  They do all sorts of wild things together from skydiving to racing sports cars to renewing relationships.  It took a kick in the pants for them to get around to it! 

I don’t know if you have a bucket list or not but there are two things that I’d like to add to your list – unlike the other things on your list, these do not get crossed off for you come back to them again and again – at least weekly but hopefully daily if not many times a day.  Your list should say – “sit in the living room” and “serve in the kitchen.” 

Sometimes, what matters the most is an activist response – serving in the kitchen - like that of the Good Samaritan who responds by "going and doing." Sometimes, what matters the most is the contemplative response – sitting in the living room - to do what Mary did in this story - nothing except wait expectantly for what happens next, giving yourself a moment or two to hear the word of God for you. One response is not better than the other. What matters is the ability to discern what to do and when.

In our story, it's not the busyness of Martha by itself that's the problem, but the timing of it. Paul Tillich once put it this way. "There are innumerable concerns in our lives and in human life generally," he says, "which demand attention, devotion, passion. But they do not demand infinite attention, unconditional devotion, ultimate passion.”[4]

Figuring out what is ultimately important and putting that first - that's the challenge of the Gospel. And nothing is more important than receiving the word of God, wherever you are, when it comes near – it is the ONE THING. Sometimes when we sense that it is near, the faithful thing to do is to drop everything and sit still and listen - like Mary. Other times when we discern its presence, the faithful thing to do is to get busy and to commit to some important task with all of the organizational drive and ability and passion we can muster - like Martha.

So be watchful for the ways in which God, even now, is working around you. Stay alert to how God might be drawing near to you.  Find the living rooms that are available to you – this space is one – a small group or a Bible study is one – one of the prayer groups is another – find these places at least weekly in addition to those living room places that you’ve carved out – maybe just a minute or two before you start the car and back out of the garage.  You will be surprised about the living rooms that you will find in your life to listen for God’s word. 

With renewed energy and recharged spiritual batteries, you can go to the kitchen to serve.  There are lots of opportunities for service, big and small, near and far.  Just ask the question – you’ll be surprised by the kitchens that you’ll find in your life where you will impact the life of another forever.  You'll know what to do next – God will show you the balance that you need.

And, if you are waiting to get around to it to find the living room or the kitchen, come find me.  I have some scrap wood in my garage.  I’ll cut a circle out of it and make a round tuit for you.