Nearly two decades ago, a Unitarian pastor by the name of Robert Fulghum made it big by writing a bestseller titled All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. This book was very popular so he followed it with ten other bestsellers. In his second book, It Was on Fire When I Lay Down on It, Fulghum wrote about an experience that every minister has on the second weekend of May. He tells of a valued member in good standing approaching Fulghum, saying “Reverend, I’m bringing my mother to church on Mother’s Day.  You can talk about anything you want. But it had better include Mother and it had better be good.” I shared this with a group this week, stating I’d probably use it in the sermon. Afterwards one of the men said, “Boy, Randy, I’m intimidated enough about buying the right present and card on Mother’s Day. But at least I don’t have your stress.”

 

We make Mother’s Day a big deal. In fact, the National Retail Federation says that we are going to make it a very big deal this year spending 15.73 billion dollars to give mom the royal treatment. The royal treatment includes for most, a greeting card (86.8%), a special dinner or brunch at their favorite restaurant (61.0%), clothes (37%) or jewelry (32%), and flowers (72.4%). In fact, behind Christmas, Mother’s Day ranks the second most popular occasion for giving flowers.[1]

 

One of the founders of our Mother’s Day would be appalled by the commercialism.  Days honoring mothers date as early as the ancient Roman Empire. Our celebration in the United States of America dates to the late 19^th century, when Anna Jarvis called for a Mothers’ Work Day to raise awareness of poor health conditions in her coal mining community of West Virginia. Others picked up her cause, including the poet Julia Ward Howe, who wrote the lyrics of the Battle Hymn of the Republic.

 

Once Anna Jarvis died in 1905, her daughter, also named Anna, championed the cause.  Legend has it that young Anna remembered a Sunday school lesson that her mother gave in which she said, "I hope and pray that someone, sometime, will found a memorial mother's day. There are many days for men, but none for mothers." The first celebration took place at Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church in Grafton, West Virginia in 1908. Anna sent 500 white carnations to the church. She wanted the flowers to be distributed to the mothers. Jarvis chose carnations because it was her Mother’s favorite flower and white carnations because, for her, it symbolized the virtues of motherhood.[2] Five years later, the House of Representatives adopted a resolution calling for officials of the federal government to wear white carnations on Mother's Day. In 1914 Anna's hard work paid off when Woodrow Wilson signed a bill recognizing Mother's Day as a national holiday.

 

Less than ten years later Mother’s Day was a huge success and already commercialized. Jarvis became bitter over the commercialization of Mother's Day. She filed a lawsuit on Mother's Day in 1923 to stop a Mother’s Day event which she thought was too commercial and was even arrested for disturbing the peace at a mothers’ convention where white carnations were being sold. Despite Jarvis’ protest, Mother’s Day has grown and evolved well beyond a day to give white carnations. In fact, one of the early evolutions was the addition of red carnations to honor living mothers with white carnations being worn to memorialize mothers who were missed because of death.

 

Perhaps because of the commercialization of Mother’s Day, or maybe because of the access to roses in the south in the second week of May, my childhood tradition surrounded roses, not carnations. I cannot sit down to write a Mother’s Day sermon without this tradition coming to mind.  Our family grew roses. We had a hedge of red roses that spanned the length of the backyard. Not only would we wear roses to honor our mothers, every Mother’s Day morning, my father would cut and fill a shirt box full of roses to take to church. He would also add half a dozen white rosebuds from a lone bush that stood in the opposite side of the yard. One year, I wanted to help him. I found new respect for his commitment to Mother’s Day with the sharp bites of the thorns.

 

In that memory, there is a metaphor for Mother’s Days sermons. There are thorns among the roses. For all of the conversations that preachers have about preaching good Mother’s Day sermons, there are also those who consider preaching on mothers a thorny subject. Just this week alone, I encountered several opinions. One said, “I hate Mother’s Day because I hate being put on a pedestal.” Another said, “Mother’s Day sermons make my skin crawl. My mother was awful and proud of it. Honoring her is the last thing I want to do.” Still another said, “I don’t have a mother, I’m not a mother and I don’t want to be a mother. Don’t expect me in worship.” For some, Mother’s Day is a thorny subject. To those who bring similar feelings, I think it’s important to offer a handle to make it through this worship. The handle is to recognize that the origin of this day ultimately created much good in our society. Anna Reeves Jarvis organized "Mothers' Work Day Clubs" in the 1850's in the area. The clubs provided medicines for the poor, inspected milk for children, provided nursing care for the sick, and shelters for children with tuberculosis. It was out of these efforts that nationwide programs for the proper care, nutrition and nurture of children had genesis. It was because of these groups and efforts that many reforms took place in our country for the benefit of children.[3]

 

This image of Mother’s Day gets lost in the commercialization but it actually relates to Jesus’ challenge, which he places on all of us. When informed that his mother and brothers were waiting to see him, Jesus responds by pointing to his disciples, saying: “Here are my mother and my brothers!  For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." (Matthew 12:49-50) This should be one of the true benefits on this day--a day of honor which reminds all who follow Jesus that we all have a responsibility to nurture and care for children.

 

Thorns aside, in honor of all of the mothers who are living and here today, I placed a red rose in this vase. God blessed you with this incredible power to conceive, not only in the womb but also in the heart, to create and shape a human being. Motherhood is nurturing, sacrificing, loving, and ultimately letting go. You are to be honored for attempting these awesome tasks and responsibilities and at the same time, offered grace for whenever you fall short. On this day of honor I challenge you to continue to transmit to your child or children, whatever the age:

 

In honor of all of the mothers who are no longer with us, I placed a white rose in this vase. It is impossible to celebrate this day without some experiencing moments of grief. Some, in fact, come to today mourning, for your loss is recent and fresh. This is the first Mother’s Day without your mothers and it is hard. Others of us annually remember and grieve a lifetime.  

 

I know full well the pain that comes on Mother’s Day for those who mourn and grieve and I offer prayers of comfort for you. On this day, I challenge you to:

 

 

There are other losses that are remembered on Mother’s Day, others who grieve. Mother’s Day can be particularly painful for women who come longing for a child or for those who have lost a child, to death or estrangement.  In recognition of those who come to Mother’s Day with these feelings and emotions, I placed a pink rose in the vase.[4]

 

For those of you who come longing for a child, I remind you of the many women in scripture who are your sisters--Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Leah, Hannah, and Elizabeth. I pray that their faithfulness will inspire and comfort you.

 

For those who come grieving lost children, I remind you of Elizabeth and Mary, who gave up their sons John and Jesus. Their sorrow is your sorrow; their consolation from God is yours as well. God after all knows the pain and suffering that comes in losing a child and will offer you comfort.

 

I placed three roses with thorns in the vase today.  I suppose I could have added a veritable bouquet of different kinds and colors of roses and not run out of categories of people to recognize on this day. But eventually we have to get to our celebrations outside of worship. So to our mothers and mothers to be, may God bless you today and everyday forward. Our God is a God who formed our inward parts, knit us together in our mother’s womb, formed us both man and woman. As God created, God knew there would be red, pink and white roses in our Mother’s Day bouquet. We honor God’s good creation and give thanks for these roses for we know that each are held close to the heart of God.

 

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